August 27, 2014
I was just called a “hilarious colorist.”
I think that should be my new job title.
March 20, 2014
Yogalates cures all ills. Followed closely by racquetball. Followed closely by hiking/climbing. Followed closely by a fresh pint of Guinness.
March 20, 2014
A new friend was deciding whether or not I was a hipster.
“Do you shop at thrift stores and drink craft beer?”
“Yes. But I shop at thrift stores because I’m broke and anti-capitalist, and I drink good beer because I’m anal about ingredients and sourcing.”
“So it’s not because you’re trying to impress everybody.”
“No. I don’t even know how to impress people.”
The assessment: Not hipster. Indie.
Which got kind of derailed when I said, totally unironically, “I was a fan of The Decemberists before they were popular.” (Actually, I believe the phrase I used was “sold out.”)
March 15, 2014
To use the word “pedantic” is pedantic, right? metapedantry. meta-ped. meti-pedi?
March 14, 2014
When I was a teenager and thought I would grow up to be a reclusive writer, I had this vision of myself living on an island off the coast of Bergen, Norway, totally self-sufficient and totally secluded. I would make my living writing, and my only interactions would be with my agent, who lived on the mainland, to whom I would email my work. At the time, there was only dial-up, but I had this neat idea that I would have a cellphone (an inaccessible luxury), hook it up to my computer, and be able to get online through the cellphone connection.
January 3, 2014
I went to a New Year’s Eve party. In the last few minutes of 2013, someone had the idea that we go around and say something about the year that we didn’t like, that we wanted to let go of.
There was a pause; we contemplated before sharing.
Then, this sort of frat-boy-looking 21-year-old yelled out, simply, “Bitches!” There was some laughing.
Inspired, I yelled out, “Toddlers!”
After the inevitable wave of uncontrollable laughter had subsided, a few other shared theirs. Someone came in from another room, and we explained what we were doing. “We’re sharing things about the year that we want to leave behind in 2014.” “Bitches and toddlers!”
Epilogue: “You can swear off bitches, but I’ll still have my toddler.”
September 6, 2013
Dez is sitting in the car seat in the car. He’s just sitting there, in the car seat, in the parked car, in the driveway. He didn’t want to come out. So I came in, did a few things. “Want to come out yet?” “No.” Several times. He’s still there. It’s been at least a half an hour. He’s got a toy bus but that’s it. He’s just sitting there. He still doesn’t want to come out.
April 16, 2013
My birthday is on Earth Day. My parents were hippies.
January 18, 2013
A new alumni project from my alma mater, Antioch College, asked me to “Catch everyone up on your life since you left Antioch College…tell us about your family… or share your favorite memories.” This is my submission:
Since graduating in 2006, I have moved back and forth between Yellow Springs and my home-state of Rhode Island, while visiting Ireland often. I have written and directed theater and movies and performed comedy and circus sideshow. I have had many jobs, mostly in nonprofit, development and communications, graphic/web design and marketing. In 2011, I had a kid, and have become more of a homebody, and I am trying my hand at urban homesteading. I recently started blogging about all that and real food and more in the Antiochian tradition of questioning conventional norms at unchainedsunday.com. You will be glad to hear that the Pathological Upstagers are still alive and well in some form or another–although Jill and I have been geographically separated since graduation. Ah, those were fun times, weren’t they? Pining for unattainable love interests and trimming my underarm hair on stage. What exhibitionists we were!, under the dubious guise of being introverts. Where else could we have done all that, while attaining a cult following and actual groupies? (A shout-out to the Clashettes!) Antioch was a wonderful self-shaping experimentation, a veritable experience in ripening and maturation. A place where my cerebral leanings were embraced and sharpened, sometimes unwillingly, but always lovingly, though the love was often brusque. Where I began the process of becoming the pensive, prosaic, and pedantic person that I am today. Which I at once curse and celebrate, like we all do, maybe, just a little. PS. You can also find me under the name Vanessa Query.