Honey, it says right here in the Good Book that thou shalt not take my Mercedes and go for a joy ride to Vegas with your girlfriends for the spa weekend and leave me with the kids.” “What? Where the hell does it say that?” “Why, right here!” “You just wrote that with an orange Sharpie, just now!” “So? It’s my religion! And by the way, thou shalt now go make me a tuna sandwich. Naked.

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