Scene 1: Olivia Works In A Coffeeshop
OLIVIA, behind counter of coffeeshop. She is wearing some kind of tacky counter employee uniform: maybe black pants, white button-up shirt, black bow tie. She is daydreaming. AL enters and approaches, hesitant.
AL
Olivia? Sorry to interrupt.
OLIVIA (Sarcastic but perky, patronizing.)
Al! Why hello! It’s been a while. I don’t think I’ve seen you in, oh, in a whole day! That’s a record I think!
AL
Uh…
OLIVIA
Isn’t it?
AL
Yes well.
OLIVIA
So what I can get for you today?
AL
Oh, I think you know.
OLIVIA
Why don’t you just tell me?
AL
Why don’t you just— (Interrupts himself with a groan.)
OLIVIA
What do you want?
AL
Are you really gonna make me say it?
OLIVIA
Yes.
AL
(Pauses, shifts, groans.) Fine. (Looks around, pauses, speaks quickly.) Small single decaf latte with a shot of banana flavor. Please.
OLIVIA
Of course! Why didn’t I guess. (Gets to work making the drink. She is about to pour the milk when—)
AL
Do you have two-percent yet?
OLIVIA
Yea yea.
(OLIVIA continues making the drink, ignoring AL, who’s staring at her nervously.)
AL
Olivia? What are you doing after work?
OLIVIA (Pause as she changes from sarcasm to exasperation, i.e. “God here we go again.”)
Going home.
AL
Oh… Doing anything special?… I ask because there’s this thing tonight, a photography exhibit—
OLIVIA
—You know what? I have a book I have to read tonight.
AL
Oh. Wait. For school? I didn’t think you were in school.
OLIVIA
I’m not.
AL
Then—
OLIVIA
—It’s due tomorrow at the library, and I’d hate to have to pay the ten-cent fine.
AL
But—
OLIVIA
—And I wouldn’t want to tarnish my library card record.
AL
But—couldn’t you… renew?
OLIVIA
No.
AL
Uh…
OLIVIA
It’s a new release.
AL
Well, I was just thinking of going for a little bit, like at six, could you go early then read later?
OLIVIA
It’s a long book.
AL
Oh. Uh…
(OLIVIA finishes making the drink, begins to pour it into an insulated to-go cup.)
AL
Olivia? Actually… that’s for here.
OLIVIA
Are you sure?
AL
Um… yes.
OLIVIA
Don’t you have to go back to work or something?
AL
No, they let me go early.
OLIVIA (Pours coffee into mug, hands it to AL.)
Two fifty.
(AL gives her the money, puts a dollar in the tip jar, and waits an uncomfortable moment for OLIVIA to say “thank you”. OLIVIA doesn’t, instead just stares with contempt. AL takes his mug and sits down, deliberately choosing a seat with a clear view of the counter. OLIVIA gets agitated as soon as he sits down and walks away from the register, working on the far side of it. AL now has to lean to get a good view, and does so—at first subtly, then he just moves his chair, loudly, till he’s satisfied. OLIVIA rolls her eyes, giving up.)
Scene 2: Olivia Chills Out After Work
Living room of OLIVIA. She wears comfy lounging-about-the-house clothes. She is lounging on a comfy chair or sofa, a plastic bucket acting as a footbath, watching TV.
OLIVIA
Oh crap, I’ve already seen this episode.
(OLIVIA stares into space and we hear the TV.)
TV VOICE 1
Why are you pushing me away?
TV VOICE 2
I’m not pushing you away! I’m pulling me toward myself.
OLIVIA
God I need a drink.
(Enter MARIE, dressed in professional-casual clothes.)
MARIE
Hey.
OLIVIA
Hey Marie.
MARIE
I’m gonna make some tea. Want some?
OLIVIA
No thanks.
(MARIE exits to kitchen, comes back with mug and sits on another piece of living room furniture. They watch TV in silence for a minute.)
OLIVIA
How was work?
MARIE
Not bad. The usual. Steve ran away again.
OLIVIA
Aw, shit, serious? What happened?
MARIE
It’s so frustrating when he does this. He thinks he’s trapped in the home but if he would just let himself be there it wouldn’t be so bad, you know? Anyway, I was tending to Elaine, who was upset because of her daughter, did I tell you about that? Yea. It’s sad, the girl died like forty years ago, but since Elaine has no concept of time, whenever she does remember it’s like it happened yesterday. She’s stuck in this vicious cycle where she’s ok for a while and we think she’s going to get better, then she has another episode. It’s like clockwork. Anyway. Steve. So he just walked out the front door and no one else was paying attention until he was long gone. I called the cops, but they had already picked him up and they were on their way back with him. So it ended up being fine except the cops gave us some shit. So that sucked.
OLIVIA
At least he’s ok.
MARIE
Yea, that could have been…
OLIVIA
Ugly?
MARIE (Reacts.)
So how was your day?
OLIVIA
I think I’m going to be a lonely spinster my whole life.
MARIE
Oh. What makes you say that?… Wait never mind. Stupid question.
OLIVIA
You know though, most of the time I think it’s ok.
MARIE
To be lonely?
OLIVIA
The spinster part. Like Vanessa Redgrave in that movie, Deja Vu, you remember that one? The vagabond spinster.
MARIE (Dreamily.)
The gadabout.
OLIVIA
“Gadabout”!? What the hell does that mean?
MARIE
Like a traveling hedonist, a pleasure-seeking vagabond.
OLIVIA
Wow. Good one. Did you learn that at college?
MARIE
She was hot in that, ole Vanessa.
OLIVIA
She sure was.
MARIE (Pause.)
“Spinster”. That is pretty cool.
OLIVIA
It’s wicked cool. I want to go all postmodern and identity politics and reclaim that word.
MARIE
(Laughs.) Even though it hasn’t really been offensive for like fifty years?
OLIVIA
Yes.
MARIE
Oh yea, I meant to tell you, there’s a photography exhibit at RISD. I think Lauren Issa has her own wall or something.
OLIVIA
I know! I really want to go. But Al might be there.
MARIE
What? Why?
OLIVIA
He came in today—only once, I got excited for a minute, I thought he was laying off, then he asked me to it. The exhibit.
MARIE
Oh Jesus! Well at least he’s trying to tailor his date ideas.
OLIVIA
I guess. But how he knows I like photography…
MARIE
What was the last one again? Didn’t he ask you to the Roger Williams Zoo?
OLIVIA
Yea, that was random. But not as bad as when he asked me to go sailing in Newport. I mean, what would make him think that I have any interest in sailing?
MARIE
Seriously. Why can’t he just get the hint?
OLIVIA (Rolls eyes.)
Who knows.
MARIE
He knows you’re queer, doesn’t he?
OLIVIA
Yes! He probably thinks he can change me or something.
MARIE
Actually, I thought about his whole thing with you today, I’ve got a theory.
OLIVIA
Ooh, Little Miss Junior Psychologist, let’s hear it.
MARIE
Very funny. Well, what I thought is that perhaps he keeps asking you out because you’re queer.
OLIVIA
What!?
MARIE
He’s clearly a weeny, right? Maybe he would rather have a predictable rejection than get his hopes up.
OLIVIA
(Head in hands.) Oh my god.
MARIE
He just stares at you more often than he actually tries anything, doesn’t he?
OLIVIA (Sighs.)
Wow. What a putz.
MARIE
But maybe he won’t be there tonight, if he just asked you because he knew it’d be something you’d like.
OLIVIA
Hopefully. I don’t know if I’d want to risk it though. (Pause.) But wait. He did say he was going to be there early.
MARIE
Figures. He seems like a 10pm bedtime man to me.
OLIVIA (Laughs.)
No kidding.
MARIE
So you could go later.
OLIVIA
I think I will. (Pause.) I’m gonna grab a beer. Want one?
MARIE
Sure thanks.
(OLIVIA exits. MARIE looks at the TV.)
MARIE (Yelling to OLIVIA.)
Do you mind if I change the channel? (Changes channel.) Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Never mind. I need a drink. Where’s that beer? Hey! Where’s the beer, woman!
Scene 3: Olivia Goes To The Photography Exhibit
OLIVIA at the photography exhibit. She walks around, admiring the photos on display. SANDY walks near, admiring the same photo OLIVIA has stopped at. OLIVIA notices her, then does a double-take, clearly interested in the woman.
OLIVIA
It’s lovely, isn’t it?
SANDY
It sure is. I’m such a fan of Issa’s work. The contrasts…
OLIVIA
…The stark reality…
SANDY
…The emptiness… The angles really make you look at things differently. (Tilts head.)
OLIVIA
Yea, it’s like, a new way of looking at an old thing.
SANDY
It, like, brings the history into the present. I love the way she makes the city look so gorgeous and gothic.
OLIVIA
You can kind of see how Lovecraft got his inspiration.
SANDY
H.P. Lovecraft is from here? (OLIVIA nods.) Wow.
(Pause.)
OLIVIA
Where else have you seen her work displayed?
SANDY
Just on her web site, actually. This is my first real photography exhibit.
OLIVIA
Oh really? What made you want to come?
SANDY (Laughs.)
Lauren Issa! I really wanted to see her work in the flesh, you know, and maybe even talk to her. But I don’t think she’s here yet. (Looks about.)
OLIVIA
No, she’s not. I’m Olivia, by the way. (Holds out hand.)
SANDY (Shakes hand.)
Sandy. Nice to meet you.
OLIVIA
Likewise. Are you from around here?
SANDY
Not originally. But I live in Fox Point now.
OLIVIA
Really? I live in Fox Point.
SANDY
Oh yea?
OLIVIA
Where are you from originally?
SANDY
Northampton. I’ve only been here for a few months.
(OLIVIA is by now quite flirty; SANDY seems receptive but we’re not exactly sure.)
OLIVIA
And to get interested in such a random thing like an obscure local photographer, that’s impressive.
SANDY (Laughs.)
Yea I suppose. I was just looking online for things to do in the area when I came across her site.
OLIVIA
And have you found many things to do in the area?
SANDY
I haven’t, unfortunately, no. Work and home and everything has kept me pretty busy. This is my first night out in a while.
OLIVIA
If you’re interested, I could recommend some places.
SANDY
Really? That would be great. I can tell we’d probably have a lot of the same tastes.
OLIVIA (Amps up the flirt.)
I thought so too. I could show you some places personally. In fact, there’s this new Indian place I’ve been wanting to check out…
SANDY
Oh, that would be nice, we’d love that.
OLIVIA
We?
SANDY
Yes, my husband and I. He’s been at work so much, too—oh there he is!—it would be awesome to have a local tour. Wouldn’t it, Ade?
(Enter ADE.)
ADE
What was that dear?
SANDY
This nice woman here—Olivia, is it?
OLIVIA
Yea.
SANDY
This is my husband, Ade.
ADE (Shakes OLIVIA’s hand.)
Nice to meet you. (OLIVIA nods.)
SANDY
Olivia has offered to show us some local places.
ADE
Oh yes, good idea! Maybe she knows of a good Indian restaurant.
SANDY
Actually, she does!
ADE
Well, we should get going, we don’t want to have to pay the babysitter a fortune.
SANDY (Laughs.)
Ok. (To OLIVIA.) Well, here’s my card. (Gives her a card.) My cell phone number’s just there. Give us a call!
OLIVIA
I sure will.
SANDY
Thanks again! See you soon! Take care!
ADE
Thank you.
OLIVIA
Bye.
(They exit. Pause as OLIVIA sighs. Enter AL.)
AL
Olivia!
(OLIVIA pretends not to hear and begins to walk away. AL stops her.)
AL
Olivia?
OLIVIA
Oh hi.
AL
I thought…
OLIVIA
What.
AL
You had a book to read?
OLIVIA
Finished it early, what do you know? I thought you’d’ve left by now.
AL
Oh well, I was uh, getting really into it, and I kept thinking about you, because I know you’re into photography, so I thought—
OLIVIA
—And how do you know that?
AL
Oh you know, just overhearing you talking to customers. I thought—
OLIVIA
—That’s creepy.
AL
I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything. Just that table I like is near the counter, you know. I thought I’d, I don’t know, stick around and see if you’d show up.
OLIVIA
Now that’s creepy.
AL
Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize… Well anyway, would you like to uh…
OLIVIA
Actually, I’ve got to run. (Exits.)
Scene 4: Olivia Applies For Another Job
OLIVIA in professional dress, in office with LOUISE.
LOUISE
So Miss… (Looks at paper.) Murphy. What brings you here today?
OLIVIA
As you can see by my application, I am applying for a position at your company.
LOUISE
I see… And what makes you think you are qualified?
OLIVIA
As you can see by my application, I’ve been working in the service industry for a number of years now. I have experience opening and closing, doing inventory, even some assistant management and training, and of course, customer service.
LOUISE
I see… (Pause.) And… I see here that you have no college degree.
OLIVIA
No, not yet ma’am. But I’ve been looking into starting soon. Night classes, of course, so it wouldn’t interfere with work.
LOUISE
Well, it might, but we could work that out… And what are you planning to study?
OLIVIA
Business or Communications, probably, I haven’t quite decided yet.
LOUISE
I see… Your work experience seems very… limited.
OLIVIA
Does it?
LOUISE
Yes… I see at some of these places you worked for only a few months. And you seem to jump back and forth in terms of the level of your responsibility, as opposed to consistently moving up. Can you speak to that?
OLIVIA
Why yes ma’am. You see, on occasion I have left one job for another that I felt I was better suited for. And then, at times the employment opportunities in this area were particularly scarce—as I’m sure you know—so I took jobs that I was maybe too qualified for because I needed the work.
LOUISE
And are either of those the case right now?
OLIVIA
No ma’am. As you can see by my application, I am currently employed and have been at the same place for nearly a year. Though, I guess you could say I’m applying here because I think I’m suited for it.
LOUISE
I see… And why do you want to work here?
OLIVIA
To be honest I’ve been a customer at your establishment for quite some time now. I have always enjoyed its… flavor, if you’ll mind the pun. It has struck me as the type of company I would like to work for—friendly and comfortable…
LOUISE
I see… Well, Miss Murphy, thank you for coming in, we’ll be sure to give you a call. (Stands and holds out hand.)
OLIVIA (Stands, smiling, shakes hand.)
Thank you. Have a nice day. (Turns and walks away, dejected.)
Scene 5: Olivia’s Dad Visits
OLIVIA and BOBBY, in OLIVIA’s living room. BOBBY is occasionally watching TV. OLIVIA is quick to respond; BOBBY slow.
OLIVIA
Dad. I really hate my job.
BOBBY
Why?
OLIVIA
It’s just so… tedious. And pointless. And exhausting.
BOBBY
So find something else.
OLIVIA
We’ve been over this. I try to. I’m always looking in the papers. But it’s either the same kind of crappy work or else—
BOBBY
—Do you want a beer?
OLIVIA
No thanks. Or else—
BOBBY
—Mind if I get one?
OLIVIA
No.
BOBBY
(Gets up and goes to get beer.) Keep talking, I’m listening.
OLIVIA
Or else I need a college degree. Once in a while I do find something but I can’t find time to get an interview, everything like that always happens when I’m at work.
BOBBY (Returns and sits.)
Won’t work give you time off?
OLIVIA
Oh, God no. They depend on me too much. I practically run the place.
BOBBY
Bunch of fascist pigs.
OLIVIA
Well, yea. I mean I did have an interview the other day but I don’t think it went well at all. You need better jobs to move up but you need to move up to get better jobs. And these people… How do you deal with your bosses and stuff?
BOBBY
You know I get leeway. Unions. But I do it because I have to. I have no choice. I never did, especially after you were born. And you get used to it after a while. It’s not so bad. You’re just spoiled—all you kids. You all want a good job and a good education and a good lot in life but it just doesn’t happen that way. Not for working people like us.
OLIVIA
Come on Dad, give me a break. It’s not that I want a huge house or a maid or anything. Why am I spoiled because I don’t have a family or a huge debt to worry about? I feel like I’m lucky that I have some opportunity, that I should be taking advantage of it while I can.
BOBBY (Pause.)
Thought about college? I’m no help, but maybe there’s night classes you can afford?
OLIVIA (Sighs.)
Maybe. But what would I take?
BOBBY
I don’t know, Business, Communications, something?
OLIVIA
God, I’d hate that. That would be such a waste of money.
BOBBY
Well what do you want to do?
OLIVIA (Pause.)
I’m really getting into photography again lately…
BOBBY
Olivia, you don’t go to school for something like that. We’ve been through this. Do that in your spare time. It sucks, but you have to focus on paying the bills.
OLIVIA
I know, I know…
BOBBY
Sometimes I just wish you’d find a nice boy and settle down. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.
OLIVIA
You want me to be a housewife? (BOBBY shrugs.) You know I don’t like boys, Dad.
BOBBY
Sometimes I just hope that—
OLIVIA
—That’s not going to change, Dad. And I don’t know of any girl who could make enough money to support the both of us.
BOBBY
That’s sexist.
OLIVIA
Maybe, but I’m not the sexist one. It’s this beautiful country of ours that pays women less than men.
BOBBY
Well I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. (Pause.) Ever considered seeing a shrink? I hear they’re good for all sorts of things, not just depression and stuff.
OLIVIA (Laughs.)
Yea right, and pay for it with my stunning good looks?
BOBBY (Shift.)
That therapy stuff always seemed to work for your mom.
OLIVIA
You mean before she bailed on us?
BOBBY (Pause.)
Good point. (Pause.) I love anniversaries.
OLIVIA
Stop it.
BOBBY
What.
OLIVIA
I haven’t forgotten what day it is. I was just trying to avoid the topic for your sake.
BOBBY
My sake? You brought it up.
OLIVIA
No, you did. We go through the same thing every year.
BOBBY
Yea but—fifteen years.
OLIVIA
I know.
BOBBY
Can you believe it? Fifteen years.
OLIVIA
I can, actually.
BOBBY
Fifteen years.
OLIVIA
Dad.
BOBBY
What.
OLIVIA (Pause.)
She’s not coming back. (Pause. BOBBY looks back at the TV.) What are you watching now? Oh, “M*A*S*H” still.
BOBBY
That was a senseless war.
OLIVIA
Was it?
BOBBY
Senseless. Yes.
OLIVIA
How long is this episode?
BOBBY
It’s a marathon. An anniversary marathon.
OLIVIA
Jesus Christ, Dad. TNT is not running a marathon for your fucking anniversary. (Laughs. TV voice.) “Celebrate Felicia Murphy leaving her family with fifteen episodes of ‘M*A*S*H’! Fifteen episodes for fifteen years! Imagine that! Has it really been that long! Why, yes, I think it has been! Wow!”
BOBBY
Oh, would you lay off?
OLIVIA
Well, I’m sorry, but you’re being ridiculous.
BOBBY
Well, I’m sorry, I won’t talk about it anymore.
OLIVIA (Pause.)
Come on Dad, let’s do something.
BOBBY
Like what.
OLIVIA
I don’t know, go somewhere.
BOBBY
Where.
OLIVIA
I don’t know! Anywhere. I didn’t invite you over so you could watch TV and sulk all day.
BOBBY
Why did you invite me over?
OLIVIA
Because I knew you would watch TV and sulk all day if I didn’t. At your own house.
BOBBY
I’m sorry to disappoint you.
OLIVIA
You’re not disappointing me, Dad, you’re just… Let’s just go somewhere!
BOBBY
No, I’m ok. You go. I’ll watch the place for you.
OLIVIA
Watch the place. Great. You’ll drink all my beer is what you’ll do.
BOBBY
I’ll buy you more.
OLIVIA
Dad. Dad. Look. Just—just turn off the TV. (Sits down, takes remote, turns off TV.)
BOBBY (Pause. Looks at blank TV, then at OLIVIA.)
You ever think about bowling?
OLIVIA
You wanna go bowling?
BOBBY
Remember that time we went bowling, the three of us, and your mom broke a nail picking up a ball, you remember the fuss she made? (Laughs.) You remember? And the next day, the next day, she left us.
OLIVIA (Pause.)
So no bowling then.
BOBBY
No.
Scene 6: Olivia And Marie Go Out Drinking
OLIVIA and MARIE, just having left one bar, en-route to the next, tipsy but communicative.
OLIVIA (Waves behind her.)
That’s a nice pub.
MARIE
It is!
OLIVIA
That was fun.
MARIE
I’m not sure all of it was necessary, though.
OLIVIA
What do you mean?
MARIE
The stool dancing, for one.
OLIVIA
It seemed sturdy. I thought it’d be fine. Besides, the bar was taken by that bachelorette party.
MARIE
Would you have felt the same way without four rum and cokes?
OLIVIA
Probably not. I would have kicked those girls off the bar.
MARIE
What!?
OLIVIA
Drinking always makes me nicer.
MARIE
Freak.
OLIVIA
I guess you haven’t lived with me long enough to know my drinking habits.
MARIE
Thank God for small favors.
OLIVIA
Well, I’m sobering up, and that needs to change. Where to next, Little Miss Marie? How about Ri Ra, the one I was telling you about, near Waterplace Park?
MARIE
You and your frickin Irish bars. Isn’t one enough?
OLIVIA
Are you serious? Finnegan’s is not even a real Irish pub: they don’t have Guinness on tap.
MARIE
Is that the mark of a “real” Irish pub?
OLIVIA
Yes.
MARIE
You don’t even drink Guinness.
OLIVIA
That’s not the point.
MARIE
So why do you want to go to Ri Ra then?
OLIVIA
There’s more to an Irish pub than Guinness!
MARIE
You just said that was the most important thing!
OLIVIA
I did not. I said it was the mark of an Irish pub.
MARIE
What are these other things, then, that make a “real” Irish bar?
OLIVIA
Oh you know. The bartenders, how they treat the customers, whether or not they have tables, the lighting, uh…
MARIE
You’re talking out of your ass, aren’t you?
OLIVIA
I am not! It’s also the whiskey.
MARIE
Fuck Irish bars. Let’s go to Bobo’s, that’s where it’s at.
OLIVIA
You talk about me and my Irish pubs, what about you and your Italian Mafia “social clubs”? They’re so sketchy.
MARIE
Bobo’s isn’t a Mafia bar anymore.
OLIVIA
That’s only because Bobo is in jail.
MARIE
They’re all in jail.
OLIVIA
Even the mayor. Are any of your family with them?
MARIE
Fuck you. Not all Italians are in the Mafia.
OLIVIA
Yea yea. Well I’m all set with Sambuca espressos, why don’t we just go to AS220? I can look at the new display and you can people-watch or whatever Junior Psychologists do.
MARIE
Speaking of which, how was that photography exhibit? Was Al there?
OLIVIA
Yea, but I managed to get away from him pretty quickly. I met a girl there.
MARIE
Oh, do tell.
OLIVIA (Pause.)
She’s married.
MARIE
Wow.
OLIVIA
How did you do it anyway? Meet someone who you connect with that’s not married or straight or something? I mean, your girlfriend is so amazing. What the hell kind of luck is that?
MARIE
It’s not luck. It’s not as if Laurel just appeared into my life and was smitten with me. I had to work hard for her. Just find someone. Someone not married.
OLIVIA
God! You say it like I do it on purpose! I didn’t know she was married when I tried to pick her up.
MARIE
There was a guy looking at you at the bar.
OLIVIA
Of course he was looking at me, he has a penis!
MARIE
He was cute.
OLIVIA
But I don’t like boys.
MARIE
You do sometimes.
OLIVIA
That was a phase.
MARIE
Then find a girl. (OLIVIA looks around.) Well, not here, obviously.
OLIVIA
What’s the point anyway, it never works.
MARIE
That’s a very defeatist attitude to have. Is that the same way you think about finding a new job?
OLIVIA
Oh, do not start in on me again! You know it’s not that easy.
MARIE
Why not? Just go out and find a new job, find a fucking girlfriend. I think you’re too complacent.
OLIVIA
That’s easy for you to say, Miss Grad School!
MARIE
Don’t even go there, you know I come from the same background as you. I worked my ass off to get to where I am.
OLIVIA
With some luck and a little help from the folks.
MARIE
They’re only helping me out a tiny bit, you know that! And why is it luck? I just know what I want to do.
OLIVIA
There’s that too.
MARIE
What, knowing what I want to do?
OLIVIA
And it being such a marketable skill. That’s luck.
MARIE
Well, I’m sorry I can’t help that. Photography isn’t exactly a lucrative profession, even if you did go to school for it.
OLIVIA
Don’t you think I know that!?
MARIE
Look, I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what to tell you.
OLIVIA
You’d think I was repulsive or something. No one wants to give me a job or sleep with me.
MARIE
I guess that cancels out the whole sleeping-your-way-to-the-top thing, huh?
(OLIVIA reacts.)
MARIE
You’re not repulsive. If you were, I wouldn’t be living with you. You know I can’t tolerate most people.
OLIVIA
Great skill for a psychologist-in-training.
MARIE
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
OLIVIA
It’s just so frustrating! I know I’m not repulsive, so what is it about me that drives people away, or just makes people indifferent? And why do I have such poor judgment about this shit? (Looks to MARIE for an answer, who shrugs.) Well, fuck it. Never mind. AS220?
MARIE
Sure.
OLIVIA
We can go there and keep drinking and not talk about each other’s love lives.
MARIE
Or our jobs.
OLIVIA
Exactly.
(They begin to walk. Enter SANDY.)
SANDY
Olivia!
OLIVIA
Sandy?
SANDY
Olivia! How are you?
OLIVIA
Uh… good! How are you?
SANDY
Good.
OLIVIA
Good.
(OLIVIA and SANDY hug.)
OLIVIA
Fancy meeting you here. Where are you headed?
SANDY
Home. It’s getting late, you know.
OLIVIA
Is it? Come on, it’s Friday night! We’re just getting started.
SANDY
(Laughs.) Well, you know. I was hoping to see you again. I really wanted to take you up on your offer to show me around the city.
OLIVIA
Oh really?
(Enter ADE.)
ADE
Sorry, I was just admiring that window display. Oh, hello… what was your name again?
OLIVIA
Olivia.
ADE
Yes, Olivia. Hello.
OLIVIA
Hello Ade.
MARIE
Olivia?
OLIVIA
Oh, sorry. This is my roommate Marie. This is Sandy and Ade.
MARIE
Nice to meet you.
SANDY
Likewise. (Shakes hand.)
ADE
Hi there. (Shakes hand.)
MARIE
So how do you know Olivia?
SANDY
We met at a photography exhibit.
MARIE
Oh… I think she told me— (OLIVIA nudges her; MARIE interrupts herself.)
SANDY
We’re new in town, and Olivia offered to give us a local tour.
MARIE
I bet she did. (OLIVIA shoots her a look.)
MARIE
We were thinking of going to AS220. Would you care to join us?
ADE
Um… Sandy?
SANDY
I’d love to. What do you think? Will your aunt be ok?
ADE
Oh yea, I’m sure, she loves Roger. (To MARIE.) Roger’s our son.
(OLIVIA and MARIE exchange a look: Marie’s is one of shock, Olivia’s one of shutting her up again.)
OLIVIA
Aunt?
ADE
Yes, she’s renting us an apartment in her house. That’s one reason we came to live here.
OLIVIA
Oh. Wow.
SANDY
Yes, she’s been really great to us.
MARIE
How old is Roger?
ADE
One and a half.
SANDY
A very precocious one and a half.
MARIE
Oh, aren’t they all?
ADE
They sure are.
(ALL laugh except OLIVIA.)
OLIVIA
Shall we?
ADE (Looks at watch.)
Wait, it’s nearly two. Will it be open?
MARIE
Oh, no…
SANDY
Damn.
ADE
Is anything open?
MARIE
Not really. We aren’t exactly New York.
OLIVIA
I have an idea! Why don’t we go to the coffeeshop?
SANDY
What?
OLIVIA
Yea! I have keys! We can go hang out there. I’ll make everyone espressos.
MARIE (Jokingly.)
No Sambuca?
OLIVIA
No.
SANDY
Sambuca in an espresso?
OLIVIA
It’s an Italian thing.
ADE
Oh, are you Italian?
MARIE
Yes.
ADE
Is what they say true? Everyone in this state is either Irish or Italian?
OLIVIA
Pretty much.
SANDY
Would it be ok to go to the coffeeshop? What would your boss say?
OLIVIA
Ha! He doesn’t have to know. Come on!
(OLIVIA leads them around the set sneakily, shushes everyone even though they’re quiet, unlocks the door. ALL enter.)
OLIVIA
Have a seat.
(OLIVIA gestures to table; ALL sit but her.)
OLIVIA
What can I get you? (Goes behind counter.)
MARIE
The usual.
OLIVIA
One double latte.
SANDY
Wow, nice one.
OLIVIA
She’s in grad school.
SANDY
Ah-ha.
OLIVIA
Sandy?
SANDY
Oh, um… just a cappuccino. Single. Wait, can you do a mocha?
OLIVIA
You betcha. Sweet drink for a sweet girl. Ade?
ADE
Single espresso.
OLIVIA
Ah, a manly man, are you? No steamed milk for you.
ADE
I suppose…
SANDY
She’s joking, honey.
(ADE nods “Ah.”)
(During the following, OLIVIA makes and delivers the drinks, then joins them with her own.)
SANDY
So, you’re a student then?
MARIE
Yes. I’m getting my Master’s in psychology. And I work at a group home, it’s kind of like a residency.
ADE
That must be fascinating.
MARIE
It is. I love it.
ADE
Have you always known you wanted to go into that field?
MARIE
Ever since I was a kid, yea. (Glances cautiously at OLIVIA.) What do you two do then?
SANDY
Well, Ade here is still looking for a job, he’s an accountant by trade, and I’m a paralegal.
ADE
I’m looking into going into business for myself, but I’ve never done it before, it’s a frightening prospect.
MARIE
I bet.
ADE
My father says it’s not as big of a deal as I’m making it. He’s an accountant, too.
MARIE
Like father, like son.
ADE
I suppose. It was nice to have that guidance.
SANDY
I had a similar thing, both my parents are lawyers.
ADE (Trying to be funny.)
Are your folks head shrinkers?
MARIE (Laughs.)
No, not exactly… although they could certainly use a few.
SANDY
What do you parents do, Olivia?
OLIVIA
Uh… well, my dad paints houses. Sometimes. When he’s not watching TV or drinking.
ADE
Oh…
OLIVIA (Laughs.)
Sorry, I didn’t mean to kill the mood.
MARIE
How’s your mocha?
OLIVIA
And my mom, she uh… I don’t know what she does. She used to be a housewife. And might still be, somewhere, I don’t know. She left us fifteen years ago. Fifteen years ago today, in fact. That’s why Marie and I were out tonight, celebrating—
MARIE
—No we weren’t, we were—
OLIVIA
—Fifteen years. God, I feel like my dad, harping on it like this. I can’t help it, I still think about her all the time. Well, not so much her as what she did. She just… disappeared. She was seeing this shrink, you know, I don’t know what her problem was. But the last thing I remember her saying to me was how this guy was really helping her to take action. That’s how she said it—“take action”. I was ten and all I could think of was how she sounded like she was in a goddamn movie. (Pause.) Sometimes I want to do the same thing, you know? Just leave this shitty job and this shitty city and… I don’t know. Where would I go? Where did she go? Did she end up in a better place? A worse one? I feel like I want to follow her and yet there’s so much… uncertainty. I am not “complacent”, I just… Sometimes I’m just afraid. Ok? Is that ok? Sometimes I just want to not move, to just stop and stay in one place forever and just not move. (Pause.) I could live like this. I could be comfortable. (Pause.) But then I get so fucking restless! And—I just—want—to go! (Long pause. Looks at everyone. Shift.) Wow, ok! Sorry about that. That’s what rum and coke does to me. Marie, didn’t I tell you not to let me drink this much? (MARIE goes to talk.) Oh, well, never mind about that. More coffee, anyone?
Scene 7: Meanwhile, The Next Day
OLIVIA at the counter of the coffeeshop—hungover, depressed, quiet. AL enters. This is all done very very slowly. Lots of dramatic pauses.
AL
Hi Olivia.
OLIVIA
The usual?
AL
Uh… yea. (OLIVIA makes the drink.) Are you ok?
OLIVIA
Yup.
AL
You seem, I don’t know. Late night last night? Hot date or something? Did someone break your heart? Are you ok? Why won’t you talk to me? Are you just tired? This is so unlike you, Olivia. Olivia? I don’t know what to do. Do you want me to cheer you up? I could take you out to dinner, if you want. Maybe not. What’s wrong, Olivia? Olivia? Don’t be sad. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen you like this. I don’t know what to do. Olivia?
OLIVIA (Slides the drink over the countertop.)
Two fifty.
AL (Gives her money. Puts two dollars in the tip jar, one dollar at a time, watching OLIVIA, hoping for something, even just facial recognition. Nothing.)
Here you go. I guess I should just leave you alone, huh? Well, bye. (Exits.)
(OLIVIA sighs, leans over counter, head down.)
(SANDY enters, slowly walks to counter, visibly nervous. OLIVIA looks up only as SANDY approaches. OLIVIA looks behind SANDY to see if ADE is there. He’s not. Slowly, OLIVIA smiles widely.)
SANDY
Hi.
OLIVIA
Hi.
Scene 8: Olivia Starts Her New Job
OLIVIA behind counter at a new coffeeshop; new uniform. BOBBY is on the other side of counter.
BOBBY
So you got the job after all, the same one you were convinced you weren’t gonna get?
OLIVIA
Yup.
BOBBY
Another coffeeshop?
OLIVIA
Yup!
BOBBY
Another coffeeshop.
OLIVIA
But not just another coffeeshop. This is a national chain. Do you know what that means?
BOBBY
You’re even more of a sellout?
OLIVIA
God! No, it means I’m getting more money—
BOBBY
—How much more?
OLIVIA
Fifty cents more an hour, and that’s just to start, not after two raises like that last shit job. Plus I might get benefits in a few months and even some paid vacation!
BOBBY
So you’re happy then?
OLIVIA
I sure am! I know it’s not a huge leap forward or anything, but it adds up, Dad, it adds up.
BOBBY
Well, you certainly seem a lot less miserable. I was afraid you were turning into your mother.
OLIVIA
(Laughs. We hear relief in this laugh.) No, no, God no. I’d never do anything like that. Oh, and you know what? I met someone and might have a thing going.
BOBBY
Might?
OLIVIA
It’s still too early to tell.
BOBBY
A nice boy?
OLIVIA
Well, you got one of the words right.
BOBBY
A mean boy?
OLIVIA
Would you rather a mean boy than a nice girl?
BOBBY
I guess not. You like her then? (OLIVIA nods dreamily.) See, I told you it’d all work out eventually.
OLIVIA
You did?
BOBBY
I did.
OLIVIA
No, you didn’t.
BOBBY
I didn’t?
OLIVIA
No. I don’t think so.
BOBBY
Well, I should have. I mean, I meant to.
(Enter LOUISE.)
LOUISE
Olivia? Have you served this customer yet?
OLIVIA
Actually, this is my dad. He came to visit me.
LOUISE
That’s nice, but make it quick, I think you have some counters to wipe. You know how I feel about my new marble countertop.
OLIVIA (Salutes.)
Yes, boss.
BOBBY (Holds out his hand.)
Hi, I’m Bobby.
LOUISE (Takes him in for a moment before shaking his hand.)
Hi. I’m Louise.
BOBBY
So, you’re my kid’s new boss, are you?
LOUISE
And you’re my new employee’s dad.
BOBBY
I sure am. So, how’s my daughter been working out for you?
LOUISE
Isn’t the usual line something more like, “How have you been treating my daughter?”
BOBBY
Ok, I can work with that… So, how have you been treating my daughter?
LOUISE
It’s still a little early, it depends on how she works out for me.
BOBBY (Smiling, smitten.)
Fair enough.
OLIVIA
Well, I’ve got a marble countertop to clean.
BOBBY (Without looking away from LOUISE.)
Don’t let me stop you.
(OLIVIA slowly goes back to work, leaving BOBBY and LOUISE to continue staring at each other.)
Scene 9: Marie Has Another Theory
OLIVIA at home, on a cell phone. SANDY is standing downstage right, also on a cell, facing the audience. She frequently looks around cautiously. MARIE enters a few seconds into the scene, waves at OLIVIA (who nods), and exits to kitchen.
SANDY
I’m just really stressed out. There’s a lot going on right now.
OLIVIA
If you want, I could take you out to dinner. A nice quiet dinner.
SANDY
I have to be home tonight.
OLIVIA
We could go early.
SANDY
I just can’t right now.
OLIVIA
Look, it’s ok, don’t worry about it.
SANDY
Ade just started his new job, so I have to be home with Roger more…
OLIVIA
I know, I know. Things are complicated right now, I understand.
SANDY
No, you don’t, you don’t have a kid and a husband, do you?
OLIVIA
Well, obviously, no, I don’t understand entirely, all I’m saying is—
SANDY
—I just don’t know if I can deal with anything new right now.
OLIVIA
Well, look, you said you were interested, if you’re not…
SANDY (Sighs.)
Olivia, I’m sorry. That’s the stress talking. I am interested… This is just so confusing… I’m surprised you even want to see me again, I’m such a headcase right now.
OLIVIA
Of course I want to see you, it’s on my top five list of things to do before I die.
SANDY
Oh, Olivia, that’s so sweet… You’re so amazing… God, I miss you already.
OLIVIA
I miss you too, hon. Why don’t we wait till next week, maybe things will be more settled?
SANDY
Actually, I’ve got to run.
OLIVIA
What? Oh…
SANDY
Ade’ll be back any minute now.
OLIVIA
Well, ok… Call me later, ok? Anytime, you know that. If you ever need to talk or anything…
SANDY
I really need to go, Olivia.
OLIVIA
Oh… ok. Bye.
SANDY
Bye. (Hangs up.)
(OLIVIA hangs up a second later and looks at MARIE, who has joined her with a cup of tea. Pause.)
OLIVIA
This woman is driving me crazy.
MARIE
Sandy?
OLIVIA
Is there another woman in my life that constantly mind-phucks me?
MARIE
Jesus! Sorry.
OLIVIA
Sorry, sorry, I just… (Groans, head in hands.) I don’t know why I’m letting this get to me so much.
MARIE
Because you like her.
OLIVIA
Well, of course, but… This is ridiculous. She’s married. How far could it go anyway? And why am I so goddamn obsessed?
MARIE (Pause.)
I have a theory.
OLIVIA
Oh, boy.
MARIE
Have you heard of the third puppy?
OLIVIA
Pardon?
MARIE
The third puppy. It’s a psychology thing.
OLIVIA
Of course I’ve never heard of the third puppy. All my psychology information comes from you, so if you haven’t told me, I don’t know it.
MARIE (Frowns briefly.)
There’s three puppies. The first puppy is treated affectionately all the time. The second puppy is treated unaffectionately all the time. The third puppy is treated both nicely and meanly, and it’s totally random, how it’s treated. After a while, the first puppy comes back sometimes, the second puppy stays away, and the third puppy comes back all the time.
OLIVIA
What the hell?
MARIE
You see, the first puppy learns independence, the positive reinforcement making it secure. The second puppy learns not to trust you and becomes avoidant. The third puppy is unsure of what treatment it will receive, and becomes anxious and ambivalent and needy.
OLIVIA
But why?
MARIE
Who knows? It’s behaviorism.
OLIVIA
It’s what?
MARIE
This insane psychologist B.F. Skinner’s theory. It doesn’t take into account cognition—thinking. There is no “why”.
OLIVIA
Well, that’s depressing.
MARIE
So you’re the third puppy.
OLIVIA
Oh, lovely. I’m a fucking psychological stereotype.
MARIE
It’s not uncommon.
OLIVIA
Well, obviously, if it works on puppies! That bitch.
MARIE
I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose. She does have a child and a husband, after all.
OLIVIA
Yea yea. (Pause.) I’m gonna grab a beer. Want one?
MARIE
Sure thanks.
(OLIVIA exits to kitchen.)
Scene 10: The Closing Shift
LOUISE in the coffeeshop, looking for something. Starts off only moderately frazzled, disintegrates into panic, occasionally whimpering. BOBBY enters and stops when he sees her. He watches her for a moment before slowly approaching. This should maybe be vaguely similar to Sandy’s entrance in Scene 7. LOUISE is oblivious. BOBBY reaches out to touch her but decides against it.
BOBBY
Louise?
LOUISE (Leaps in shock.)
Ah! Oh my god.
BOBBY
Sorry.
LOUISE
Bobby?
BOBBY
Yes?
LOUISE (Tries to pull herself together.)
Bobby. Hello. How are you?
BOBBY
Fine. You?
LOUISE
Me?
BOBBY
Yes.
LOUISE
Oh, I’m just great. (Still looking around a bit.)
BOBBY
What are you, uh… looking for?
LOUISE
Hmm?
BOBBY
What are you looking for.
LOUISE
Uh… coffee.
BOBBY
Coffee? You’re looking for coffee? You can’t find coffee?
LOUISE
It’s a special coffee.
BOBBY
Oh… What’s so special about it?
LOUISE
It’s uh… (Begins to look around again.)
BOBBY
Louise?
LOUISE
Yes.
BOBBY (Pause.)
What’s wrong?
LOUISE
Wrong? Nothing.
BOBBY
You’re lying. (Tries to get her to sit down a few times—it works for a second but then she’s up again.) Talk to me. Tell me about this special coffee.
LOUISE (Eventually stays sitting.)
It’s my special coffee! I need it! And I think we’re out of it! I’m going to have to call our supplier and have them bring some right now. (Goes to get up; BOBBY brings her back down.) You’re right. It’s too late. They won’t be able to get it here until tomorrow.
BOBBY
Why don’t you just have the regular coffee?
LOUISE
Don’t you see, I can’t! I have to have my special blend.
BOBBY
Why?
LOUISE (Really dramatic build.)
Because… because… I hate coffee!
BOBBY (Gasps.)
Really??
LOUISE
I do! I can’t stand the stuff! It’s vile, bitter, mud! (Pause.) Oh my god, I feel so much better, having said that out loud. You know, I’ve never told anyone that before.
BOBBY
So why do you need this special blend?
LOUISE
It’s the only kind of coffee I can drink, the Tanzanian-Malawian teaberry blend. It’s the closest I can get to my fix.
BOBBY
Your fix?
LOUISE
Yes, my fix! Oh god, I can’t even think about it. (Jitters.)
BOBBY
You’re not referring to—
LOUISE
—Yes, coke, ok! Just a little, to get me through the morning. And sometimes when I’m at work I need a little more, you know? And the Tanzanian-Malawian is the only coffee I can actually drink.
BOBBY
It’s ok, it’s ok. Just give me your hand.
LOUISE
Why? What are you going to do with it?
BOBBY (Laughs.)
Don’t worry, nothing bad. I just want to help you calm down. (LOUISE hesitates.) Louise, I’m safe! I’m your new employee’s dad, for god’s sake.
LOUISE
I suppose you’re right. (Gives him her hand.)
BOBBY (Takes her hand, begins to work it.)
Where is she, anyway?
LOUISE
Olivia? She’s on closing shift tonight, so she’s doing dishes in the back. Oh, that feels nice.
BOBBY
How’s she working out for you, can you tell me today?
LOUISE
She’s a good worker. A little moody at times, but a good worker.
BOBBY
Moody?
LOUISE
Sometimes she seems really happy, but then randomly she gets sullen and irritable. Which can really get in the way of productivity.
BOBBY
Yea, that sounds about right. She’s a good kid, but sometimes she has problems just going with the flow.
LOUISE
The flow?
BOBBY
Life, you know. She’s always been very… willful. When she was a kid… (Laughs.)
LOUISE
What?
BOBBY
After her mother left us, she would like, pretend to follow her. She really thought she would find her again. I mean, we had no idea where she went. But still Olivia would pack up a backpack, with clothes and some food and a flashlight, and try to run away. Sometimes it got so bad I had to physically restrain her. It wasn’t that she thought Felicia was coming back, but… she wanted to bring her back.
(Pause.)
LOUISE
Control freak?
BOBBY (Laughs.)
I guess you could say that.
LOUISE
In a way, I admire that. (BOBBY gives her a questioning look.) You thought I was a control freak, didn’t you? (BOBBY shrugs, smiles.) To be honest, I think that’s just the coke energy being transferred. I might have been a true control freak, except that sometimes I feel so… hopeless. (BOBBY nods.) You know what I mean? (BOBBY nods.) Really? (BOBBY nods. Pause.) Don’t you just wish the sadness would go away?
BOBBY
I used to think it would.
LOUISE
No shit! I was so damn idealistic when I was younger. I mean, I was pretty miserable then, too, but I thought it would get better. I thought it was temporary—everything was temporary. It didn’t matter how much I hated my life, because—I was still young. I still had time. I was taught to believe it would get better. We all were. You know—the “long dark twenties” and all.
BOBBY
“He sized things up, he was dismayed, at how the years had flown by so fast.”
LOUISE
Pardon?
BOBBY
It’s a song called “Long Dark Twenties”. By Paul Bellini? (LOUISE shrugs.) Never mind. Anyway. I always find myself jealous of people who have their shit together more than I do. After Felicia left, things just kind of fell apart for me. I never felt like I got back up on my feet…
LOUISE
“I’ll be back upon my feet, chase the morning sun to find my one and only you.”
BOBBY
Pardon?
LOUISE
It’s a song. By The Monkees.
BOBBY
Oh. (Pause as they share a flirty, shy, somewhat awkward smile.)
LOUISE
Anyway. Continue.
BOBBY
Well basically, I always assumed everyone else had it all figured out. But now I’ve realized that no matter how people present themselves, no one’s ever really… settled. (Pause.) Like you, for example. When I first met you I thought, now there’s a woman who knows who she is and goes after what she wants.
LOUISE
I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you.
BOBBY
You haven’t disappointed me. On the contrary.
LOUISE (Pause.)
You know, what you first thought of me, not all of it is untrue.
BOBBY
Oh yea?
(LOUISE stands, brings BOBBY to his feet [yay metaphor]. They hug. They look into each other’s eyes. LOUISE slowly takes off BOBBY’s glasses. They exit with their arms around each other. Pause. OLIVIA enters, shaking out her hands.)
OLIVIA
Louise?
(AL enters. OLIVIA tries to escape.)
AL
Olivia?
OLIVIA (Slowly goes back to the counter.)
Can I help you? Wait a minute. What the hell are you doing here?
AL
What?
OLIVIA
What the hell are you doing here?
AL
Uh… getting coffee.
OLIVIA
But… How did you…
AL (Rehearsed.)
I didn’t see you at the other place for a while, and I got worried, so I asked where you were, and they told me you were working here now.
OLIVIA
Jesus Christ! Why do you keep doing this!?
AL
What?
OLIVIA
You’re like, stalking me!
AL
I am not! I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.
OLIVIA
Why?
AL
Because I care about you!
OLIVIA
But why? I’m not even nice to you!
AL
You are sometimes.
OLIVIA
When?
AL
Well, you’re not being too mean right now. And you make a great latte.
OLIVIA
You take my latte-making as an indication of my niceness?
AL
If you were mean, you’d make me crappy ones, wouldn’t you?
OLIVIA
I never really thought of it that way.
(Pause.)
AL
You seem to be feeling better.
OLIVIA
Better than when?
AL
Well, last time I saw you…
OLIVIA
I was just hungover.
AL (Not believing her.)
Oh.
OLIVIA
I had a lot on my mind.
AL
Do you, uh, want to talk about it?
OLIVIA (Kind of laughs.)
Not with you, thanks anyway.
AL
Oh. Ok. Uh…
OLIVIA (Pause. Realizing.)
Oh my god.
AL
What?
OLIVIA
Oh my god!
AL
What!
OLIVIA
You’re my third puppy!
AL (Kind of excited.)
I’m your what?
OLIVIA
Third puppy. Do you know anything about psychology?
AL
No.
OLIVIA
I guess you wouldn’t.
AL
Tell me.
OLIVIA
I know why you like me so much.
AL
Uh… why?
OLIVIA
I’m only ever nice to you because you’re my customer. So you’re never sure of how I’ll treat you, so you become, what was it—anxious and ambivalent and needy.
AL
I do?
OLIVIA
Yes! So you come back obsessively for attention! It all makes sense now!
AL (Pause.)
What does that have to do with puppies?
OLIVIA
Oh god, I don’t even remember.
AL (Ponders.)
You know, that kind of makes sense. I always thought it was the latte.
OLIVIA
Well, that’s one burden gone, hopefully.
AL
Am I really a burden?
OLIVIA
Oh hell yes!
AL
Sorry. I didn’t realize. I’ll, uh, try not to be.
OLIVIA
That would be nice.
AL (Pause.)
Can I still care about you?
OLIVIA
Sure, sure. And maybe if I’m not mean to you, you’ll stop being so damn obsessed.
AL
That would be nice.
OLIVIA
It would?
AL
You think I like being obsessed?
OLIVIA
I never really thought about it.
AL
Oh, Olivia, I’m really glad we had this talk.
OLIVIA
Me too.
AL
Can I hug you? I’m not being weird, I promise. Just a friendly hug.
OLIVIA
Friendly?
AL (Hesitant.)
Yea… Can we be friends now?
OLIVIA
Sure, why not?
(They hug.)
AL
Nice.
OLIVIA
Don’t get funny.
AL
Sorry. So. Are the lattes here as good as the other place?
OLIVIA
Better. But, oh yea, we don’t have banana syrup.
AL
Oh no. (Pause.) Well, can you, uh, recommend something?
OLIVIA
Wow, really? When was the last time you had something other than a decaf banana latte?
AL
Oh, it hasn’t been too long. No, it has, actually. It’s been a really, really long time. I can’t even remember the last time.
OLIVIA
Well, this is exciting. (Looks behind counter.) Let’s see, what else would Al like…
THE END.